When Sophie was about two or three years old, I would read to her.
I would hold a book and sign along with it, but her eyes were all over the place.
I couldn't get her to pay attention by waving my hands, and it's also quite a nuisance to keep doing that.
I caught her attention by keeping the book in her view.
But I kept finding her looking away.
The family counselor offered a course in reading to her.
I demanded a deaf sign language teacher, since she has the visual intuition and experience required to teach us.
That was Bottie, the one who taught us.
She gave me some more tips that I hadn't thought of. Thanks to the teacher I thought of all kinds of things to get Sophie's attention.
There were hearing parents there, as well as a hearing impaired mother with a hearing daughter.
That was very pleasant, a good exchange.
We could share our experiences that way, it was very nice.
The teacher had some advice I didn't know of.
For example for when you're reading and they're losing attention.
Sign a spider walking down, so she returns to the book.
Or have a spider walk from a picture in the book towards a different place.
Her look then follows my hand to the right spot.
There were a few techniques like that.
She also told me: it's better if you don't keep waving for attention, that isn't nice.
Or keep the book in her view, and she will follow the movement back down.
Those kinds of little things.
That way there was a pleasant way for everything the teacher asked.
It turned out you don't need to always keep eye contact, like I thought.
Because you're scared she'll miss out on a lot of information being deaf.
Hearing kids can get a lot of information from their surroundings, simply by listening.
With deaf kids you have to keep signing at them and keeping eye contact.
But you can just let them look around for themselves.
And it turns out they do see everything.
When they're looking at something, for example, they also see a lot in the corners of their eyes.
So I thought I would try it out.
And it worked: I signed, and she took in that information.
From both corners of her eyes, she does end up seeing all kinds of things.
But I went through an entirely different process myself.
My hearing parents were very focused on eye contact while signing.
And I would see lots of things in the corners of my eye.
Sophie also has a very broad field of view.
I notice that when signing to her.
Also tactilely, you know.
If we're reading about a cat and I'm losing her attention, I sign cat on her face.
And then she also knows it's a cat.
Or I sign on my arm, and then I do it on her arm.
So I'm playing with that a little bit.
I use touch with Sophie.
I don't do that as much with Bob, he's already six years old and just looks at me when I'm signing.