Like I've said before, when I use my voice I can't just put my hands in my lap.
I'm just used to using my hands.
–On the other hand, it was also very boring with those hearing classmates.
Let it be clear that I can speak well, but at school I had to talk instead of using signs.
So either talking or sign language. I can't combine the two.
I don't know why I can't do it, but it's how I grew up.
I completely freeze when I use Dutch and signs together.
–I had a friend, deaf, also Jewish, and we visited each other a lot.
She was very surprised that we were raised so freely.
She always had to use knife and fork, but we ate chicken with our hands.
Because dad always said: chicken is only nice if you gnaw the meat off, and to do that you need your hands. That's how it worked at our home.
There was also an older neighbor who thought talking was important. She was always lonely.
She thought talking was very important, she always said, but she was always alone.
When I'd visit her she'd always ask me accusatively: how is it possible that you talk so well?
I didn't like that at all, it had to do with your voice.
–I would go to people with parents who I knew could sign...
...if no one used signs I would only feel restrained and I didn't feel like that.
–You know what's funny? My dad's speech was so bad, not understandable at all.
But he had more contact with the neighbors than my mom because he'd sign all kinds of things.
Everyone in the neighborhood knew him and they would talk to him in the shop and they understood each other. Pretty weird actually!
–When I would walk down a street with him he said hi to everyone I didn't know. Actually, almost all of them were women.
He also used to go fishing. Once at the Amstel, eh, no... at the Bosbaan...
...my mom and I were on the grass and my husband was fishing a bit further away.
My mom was very surprised to see he had such good contact with all those other men.
That had to do with using signs of course. My mom loved that.
He was never lonely and was friends with everyone.
If he talked to someone it would be superficial. For example if the fish were biting, if it was a big or small fish, what kind of hook, etcetera.
Depth was a different story. That happened, like at home, in sign language.
There was a sort of divide. At his work friendly with hearing people and at home, and his charity work...
...he used his capabilities and expertise. He was the president of multiple associations.
If he could have had an education in sign language he would have had a great job. I know that for sure.
Sign language, that's what it's about. Honestly, we weren't aware of that as a family.